Textured big blank page

Big Blank Page: Freelance Friday

I usually have some idea every week of the general direction Freelance Friday will take. I definitely don’t end up on Friday night with a big blank page.

But there’s a first for everything, right? All day long, I’ve known it was Friday. I mean, it happens once a week. It’s a thing. I’m grateful to make it to another one, don’t get me wrong, but today – this week, really – the thoughts did not coalesce.

They didn’t coalesce, but they did exist. They were just more disjointed than usual. I was distracted with some deadlines, re-learning time management out of necessity, and battling the following daily inner dialogue:

A Night with My Normal Big Blank Page Thoughts:

Me: But you don’t actually DO stuff for a bunch of the day.

Me: But it feels like I do.

Me: You sit at your desk and toggle a lot between tabs. But that’s not really work.

Me: But I get stuff done.

Me: I don’t know how.

Then every night, I think about how I was tired because I kept thinking of all the things I should be doing. Working on posts. Doing research. Getting prepared for the next day. Cleaning, or whatever. Juggling practice. Learning how to label Instagram reels right ON the reel while I point to the spot where the words go and look fun so people get all excited about my coaching, or about my writing, or both. Thinking about how I really want my bio to read something like, “I don’t drink coffee or wine, and I’m not religious. Who knows how I even get through the day.”

So this week, we’re gonna talk about catching some of the free-for-all happening in our minds.

A Friday Night With My Face-Washing Thoughts:

  • Oh. It wasn’t a cold sore. It’s super dry skin. Probably because of this prescription I got that says a side effect is dry skin. Huh.
  • How long until I just start dry-shaving my face? It’s already flaking anyway.
  • Why are you pretending like you don’t already do that? It’s just you in here and you’re not even talking out loud.
  • When did you take your left slipper off?
  • Hey! It’s my Save the Dolphins necklace from middle school! Like the 4Ocean bracelet for the polar bears you wear now. See, you’ve always been this way.
  • WHAT way? How do either of those things save anything? Isn’t this bracelet just supposed to do a pound of trash pickup? How do the polar bears even benefit?
  • Your face skin is definitely flaking.
  • You talked to people in a meeting today who knew a lot – a LOT – about North Korean documentaries. You watched a “documentary” tonight about David Arquette wrestling.

The point is, there is no point. Sometimes you feel a tap on your shoulder, and you turn around, and it’s THE WORLD. You can’t always have the right things to talk about, or even anything to talk about. You can’t always have the answers, or even know the questions to ask.

Today, it is a big blank page.

But I definitely – DEFINITELY – need moisturizer.


I start every day vowing to become healthier and end every day by zeroing out my fridge.
That's the kind of self-sabotage that forms the core of my being.
You know what I'm good at, though? Spinning words into a magical skein that envelopes you in success. Let's talk about that first, and if snacks end up happening, so be it.

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