So You Wanna be a Songwriter…

Preamble: I didn’t like the look of my old blog, pretty much ever, and so I switched to WordPress. Actually, I discovered that I had switched to WordPress three separate times in the past without pursuing it further, so I have three handles, if you will. But I finally got off my keister and did something about my distaste of the visual aspect of Livin’ the Dream. Make no mistake…I’m still totally livin’ the dream. But it was time to let go, and move on.

Now let’s get started.

I don’t know about any of you (that’s not true. I know about pretty much all of you.), but I love music.

I love it like it’s my damn job. But, like, the kind of job that goes along with that super annoying quote:

“If you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life.”

Go home, quote. You’re drunk.

Anyway, I love music. I mean, I LOVE it. It gets me through many dark times, such as commutes, housecleaning, heartbreak, boredom, waiting for people, etc. And, although I like songs from every genre, my go-to, fallback category is always alternative. Alt Nation is my number one programmed station on Sirius, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

With all of those years of experience in listening to music, I’ve often wished that I could write a song. I can sit down and write a blog. I can write a paper. I can write a BOOK, even. But there’s a lock on my brain when it comes to writing something that can be set to music.

So it is that I’ve gotten to this point of my life without having written a song of any kind. Three years ago I vowed that it would happen. It didn’t. Life happened. Things got put on the back burner. It’s in the past. I don’t want to talk about three years ago anymore.

But today, literally TODAY, I realized that I COULD totally write a song. In fact, I already have. How, you ask? (Humor me here.) Funny you should mention it.

First, I’ll lead with a question. Are there certain lines in certain songs that just resonate with you? Lyrics that you sing extra loud, both because you know them and because they strike an extra chord in your heart? I’m not talking about the chorus. Everybody sings the chorus louder to make up for the fact that they mumble through 75% of the rest of the song. I mean one line here or there, when, the first time you realized what the band was singing, you got chills. Goosebumps. You felt fully present in your life.

Well, brother, I gotta bunch of ’em. So I figured, why not string together my most resonating lyrics, find somebody who writes music, marry the music to my lyrics, find a producer real quick, sit back, and watch the accolades pour in. Bing bang boom, done and done.

So now, in a stunning twist, I am going to release the lyrics to my smash hit song to you, my loyal followers. I am doing this both because I love each of you deeply and uniquely, and because it’s a celebration of my new blog site. In the interest of the children, I am not including lyrics that are crude (thereby eliminating at least two lines).

Without further adieu, I bring you:

The Most Brilliant Song

So some say love is a burning thing
That it makes a fiery ring
All that I know love as a caging thing
Just a killer come to call from some awful dream
But my heart is wild, and my bones are steel
And I could kill you with my bare hands if I was free.

I got a landmine in my bloodline
I’m not immune to getting blown apart

Because love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

If it were easy as fishin’, you could be a musician
If you could make sounds loud or mellow
Get a second-hand guitar, chances are you’ll go far
If you get in with the right bunch of fellows


I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

Heartbreak, old friend, goodbye it’s me again.  See, honey, I saw love,
You see it came to me
It put its face up to my face so I could see
Yeah then I saw love disfigure me
Into something I am not recognizing

Excuse me please, one more drink. Make it strong, ‘cuz I don’t need to think. 

One drink to remember, another to forget. 

Come to decide that the things that I tried were in my life just to get high on. When I sit alone, come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time.

I meant to catch you, but I moved too slow. 

You’re from the 70s, but I’m a 90s bitch.


Sorry that you feel that way
The only thing there is to say
Every silver lining’s got a
Touch of grey

Well it’s all right, even if they say you’re wrong
Well it’s all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it’s all right, As long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it’s all right, everyday is Judgment Day

There comes a time, in a short life
Turn it around, get a rewrite
Call it a dark, night of the soul
Ticking of clocks, gravity’s pull

Why wait any longer for the one you love
When he’s standing in front of you.


So there it is. Is it disjointed? Yes. But so are my thoughts, and isn’t keeping the “voice” of the songwriter key, at the end of the day? (It is.)

Anyway, so yeah, like I said, I just need a music man to go ahead and polish this little diamond in the rough, and we can split the (enormous, ridiculous) proceeds. Private message me, because this is a real thing that’s happening

provided you don’t screw it up.


This could be us.


Or this.


Taffy is so great. We would enjoy unlimited [free] taffy and many other spoils, due to the gift we give the world.


*lyric credits: Song for Zula, Phosphorescent; Time Bomb, Old 97s; Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley; Takin’ Care of Business, Bachman-Turner Overdrive; Touch of Grey, Grateful Dead; Snow (Hey Oh), Red Hot Chili Peppers; End of the Line, Traveling Wilburys; Valentine, Old 97s; Grace is Gone, Dave Matthews Band; Lay Lady Lay, Bob Dylan; Salvation, Langhorne Slim and the Law; I Love It, Icona Pop; First, Cold War Kids.


I start every day vowing to become healthier and end every day by zeroing out my fridge.
That's the kind of self-sabotage that forms the core of my being.
You know what I'm good at, though? Spinning words into a magical skein that envelopes you in success. Let's talk about that first, and if snacks end up happening, so be it.

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1 Comment

  1. You should include Bon Jovi, Superman Tonight.

    There’s something about you
    I want to rescue
    I don’t even know you
    So what does that mean

    Maybe I’m cynical
    I’m painfully logical
    You’re tragic and beautiful
    And that’s good enough for me

    You’re looking for a hero, but it’s just my old tattoo
    Tonight I swear I’d sell my soul to be a hero for you

    Who’s going to save you
    When the stars fall from your sky
    And who’s going to pull you in
    When the tide gets too high
    Who’s going to hold you
    When you turn out the lights
    I won’t lie I wish that I
    Could be your superman tonight

    If somebody sent you
    An angel to save you
    What would you tell him to turn him away

    That your heart don’t break
    That your lips don’t kiss
    That life is just a lie
    That heaven don’t exist?

    There’s to much good in all these words to not pass all of them up. My favorite part is “You’re tragic and you’re beautiful.” But I’ll let you choose.

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